Damn Oregonians!

It's soo hot, I feel like I would be able to fry an egg on the sidewalk. I called California and it was 112 degrees in Modesto.
I called every store I could think of that sells fans and a.c. units, they were all out. I need a shower after I take a shower because of it being so damn hot! People are talking about their cats panting to stay cool! My cat is hiding behind the toilet to try to stay cool...I tried it, but I wouldn't fit.
My children are hoping that it would rain...Oh My Gawd, I think we are officially Oregonians!
It's too damn hot in this damn rental, I need a damn air conditioner!!!